Who taped their beaks shut?

I've been out on the Redlands WMA today and Monday. It is quite depressing to not hear a single bird. I think I have lost several pounds in the attempt, but alas, the birds are not horny.

1st--I tried my owl calls, both the tube type and the whistle.
2nd--I gave some crow calls, nobody liked those either.
3rd--After calling with my Knight and Hale diaphragm calls for most of the morning, I still made absolutely nothing HORNY!
4th--I thought a Red-Tail hawk might scare a bird into a gobble. Nope.
5th--Maybe a piliated woodpecker would do the trick. Nobody hates a piliated woodpecker more than an old gobbler. Guess Not.
6th--How about a Peacock, those ol' boys on the MAD videos sure look like they get them gobblin with those. I felt rediculous making those horrific noises in the woods.
7th--Maybe that dog whistle thing that M.A.D. calls makes will work. Ummm....NO.


I am currently devising a plan to spray the entire Wildlife Management Area with liquid Viagra, mixed with a little liquid Levitra. Maybe, just maybe, the birds will get horny!!!!! Dammit, I hate not hearing a Gobble!!!!

Turkey Opener in Georgia

Loser: the person not victorious in a fight, match, or game. Why you ask? Because I am home this morning and not turkey hunting.

Just as well though, I'm heading to the woods for a couple of days during the week after everyone and their brother leaves the woods.

My last post on the Gobbler Guillotine did not show the picture, and that is my fault. I apologize to all of my loyal readers. So here it is. I am just going to go lay down and mope a bit because I was not able to go hunting on opening morning.